What Would You Do If You Knew You Couldn't Fail?

I published Episode 12 of the podcast a couple of days ago. It was the first episode of the re-launch; of me changing the direction of the podcast to include not just the exploration of science, but the exploration of spirit.

I loved recording that episode and can't wait to get started on the next. I felt much more "me." I love teaching, and love physics and astronomy. But combining that with spiritual exploration is absolute resonance. I feel like I've come home.

The Next Step

In the episode I posed the question: What would you do if you knew couldn't fail? We've all probably heard that question a million times. Ok, so let's take the next step. Presumably you're not doing whatever is you want to do. So here's the next question: What makes you think you're going to fail?

If I knew I couldn't fail, I would quit my day job and be a writer. And a podcaster. And a content creator. I LOVE making digital products such as affirmation cards, bookmarks, journals, checklists, infograms... anything that allows me to play with colors, fonts, and images.

I'm doing these things as hobbies, but not making money with them. So I still need my day job. What's holding me back? What makes me think I'll fail? There are plenty of people out there making a living as a writer or podcaster, so it can be done. Why do I doubt that I can do it?

The first thing that comes to mind is that I need the paycheck and financial security of my day job. I have a child to care for; a mortgage. All the things. So, what? I'm not good enough to provide for myself? My talents won't cut it? Is that what I really believe?

Can I Really Do That?

When I was going into college I had registered as a biology major. I loved biology, and I was really good at it. But then I saw a picture of a supernova and decided to major in astronomy. My first thought was, "Do people do that?" Then it was, "Can I do that?" Being an astronomer seemed like something that other people did. Smart people. It's not that I wasn't smart, but school had always been easy; even the advanced AP classes. It seemed like people who became astronomers had been studying the stars since the day they were born. I had just seen a picture in a biology textbook. Was that enough to determine the course of the rest of my life? The answer was YES!

I did major in astronomy, and got a master's in it, too. I didn't pursue it professionally but that was very much a choice. My heart was no longer in it after a year or two of grad school. But I did it.

I remember sitting outside the physics building, after being told by my advisor that I might need to consider changing majors, thinking that the only thing I loved was physics. I couldn't even choose another major. Nothing else appealed like physics. So I made the decision right there that I would just keep taking classes and showing up until I either failed out of school or changed my mind.

Why Not Now?

I know I have it within myself to be successful if I put my mind to it. I've done it. I think we've all done it. We all can do it. But here I am, working a job I don't like while my dreams remain hobbies, relegated to the "when I have time" bin.

Is that really the message I want to give to my child, to myself: pursue your dreams when you have time. Ick. Just writing that breaks my heart.

I don't have a good answer for why I don't have the same "I'm just going to keep going" attitude that I did while pursuing my degrees. I guess I feel like I have too much to lose now. What if I don't make enough money to feed my family or keep a roof over our heads? That is a possibility. It was also a possibility that I would fail out of college. But I took that risk, and (maybe subconsciously) made sure I didn't fail.

What would YOU do if you knew you couldn't fail?

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

Thomas Edison